And you lose, and the woman makes you have sex with another guy. you know, the kind of stuff that happens in Penthouse Forum all the time. Let's say you've gotten into a betting game with a woman, and the bet is that whoever loses has to be the other's sex slave for an entire night. Sucking a guys cock can, under certain rare cirumstances, be staright. I'll bet you wish I was a man! I'll bet you wish this was a real cock, you fucking faggot!" and you're getting off on this like you've never gotten off before, that's still straight.īut then, if you go off to the bar, and discuss this, or any other sexual experience with guys, that's gay. Ok, you got a guy sucking your dick, even if he's dressed like a beautiful woman, even if he's got the best breast implants youv'e ever seen, even if you're saying to him "Suck it, bitch, I know you like it, you slut, you whore!" that's gay.Ĭonversely, if a woman straps on a dildo, and you're dressed like a woman, and you're sucking her cock, and she's saying, "You like it, don't you? You like sucking my dick you little fucking faggot," and then she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says "You love it you little pussy boy! You love getting fucked in the ass. You wanna come over?" And I'm like, "No." Like a guy calls me up and says, "A bunch of us guys are gonna sit around in our underwear and watch the football game and drink beer and eat chips and, you know, maybe wrestle with each other, just us guys. It's straight guys who don't know their gay. See, look, I know I'm homophobic, but not about gay guys. Hugging and/or kissing a straight guy is gay. Here's an interesting one: Kissing a gay guy on the cheek, or letting him kiss you on the cheek is neutral, as long as the guy is out of the closet. Watching porn, even gay porn, with one or more other women only is staright. Watching pornos with one or more other guys in the room, no matter how many other women are also in the room, is gay. Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich. Vincent always has queer bops to jam to, but this song is especially cool, since it was part of a bigger project with Bob Dylan, Kesha, and other. Gyms are always gay, because afterwards, in the locker room, you're showering with guys, and that is gay. Sports are gay, especially contact sports, unless you're the only guy on both teams, in which case it's straight. Even telling a woman "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to suck a cock," is straight. But it got me thinking about what is and isn't gay.ĭiscussing sex with a guy is gay. Now I ask you, does that make me gay?" Most of the audience thought so, and so did I. I love her, and I love making love to her. She's got a perfect body, beautiful blonde hair, everything.
Get the One Cracked Fact daily newsletter! It's full of interesting stuff and is 0% Rick Astley.I saw an episode of The Jerry Springer Show, and the topic was "Transvestites and the Men Who Love Them." And the guy was on with his "girlfriend," and he was saying "To me, this is a beautiful woman. Related: The 10 Cracked Posts Everyone Was Talking About: 5/3 Edition We Promise This is Not a Rick Roll Or find out the secret that most rappers know about the approximate amount of love you should show a ho in order to take her home from the bar.
Also, be sure to find out about Nelson Mandella's strange taste in music. If you enjoyed that, check out our rundown of The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time. You should also be his friend on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr. "I'm not homophobic, in fact, I still have sex with several guys from my old neighborhood."Īdam hosts a podcast called Unpopular Opinion that you should check out right here. Now, we’re not saying they are gay, but you never can tell. Although your favorite MC may not necessarily be on the down-low, these 20 rap lyrics might tell a different story. In fact, when I go back to my old neighborhood, all kinds of dudes are on my dick. However, if you listen closely, plenty of your favorite rappers have dropped bars that could easily be misconstrued as homosexual Freudian slips of the, um, tongue. "People call me homophobic, but it's not true. I've got something to put in you, I've got something to put in you, I've got something to put in you, At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. Now tell me do ya, a do ya have any money I wanna spend all your money, At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. Go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick." Let's start a war, start a nuclear war, At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.
"I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shiiiiit. "Ever since we were young, we've engaged in fellatio." "I've known you since you were knee-high to a cricket!"
start a nuclear war, At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. "Ever since you was a pee-wee, down by my knee with a wee-wee." I wanna take you to a gay bar, I wanna take you to a gay bar, I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.